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What lesson above all others must we learn from the catastrophe that began to unfold in Ireland in 1994 - a catastrophe whose full dimensions have still to be measured? We in Voice of the Faithful believe that lesson is this: Child Protection is never just somebody else's responsibility. Child protection is a matter for every member of the church - and lay people especially. The evidence is now clear and massive. Many, many children have been most seriously harmed by the tendency of most of us to avoid any kind of personal involvement in the issue of sexual abuse. This creates an unspoken culture of avoidance and denial which deeply imperils children. It tells them that there is more danger in speaking of what has happened than in keeping silent - and a lifetime of unspoken pain can begin at that point. The UN charter on the rights of the child tell us that children have a right not to be abused - but they cannot vindicate that right themselves. Only adults can do that. This demands vigilance on the part of all of us - especially parents and teachers, but no one should feel excluded. At this time in all dioceses in Ireland new structures are being set up to protect children. This very fact can lull us all into a false sense of security. 'The bishops' or 'the clergy' or 'the church' or 'the new officials' are dealing with the issue, we are told - so we ourselves can safely put the whole issue to rest and leave 'them' to deal with it. But if an abused child were to cross your path, would you notice? Do you know the signs of child sex abuse? If you took the risk of responding to a child who might have been abused, would you know what to do next if the child were to trust you enough to tell you of the abuse? Do you know how to react in a way that will reassure the child, and put the proper steps in place to rescue the child? If you know none of this, and so look for an escape route - a way of dodging the issue - you become part of the child's problem, almost complicit in the abuse. So each of us has a deep responsibility to learn how to cope in such a situation - to develop enough expertise to rescue a child from a living hell. It follows that all responsible Catholic adults must find a way of learning how to be responsive to one of the most serious problems of our time. Notice that we make no assumption here that an abused child will have been abused by a Catholic priest or religious. The likelihood is that they will not - because something like 97% of sexual abuse is perpetrated by lay people - most often parents, relatives, family friends, acquaintances. However, we strongly urge every Catholic adult to look for information on what your own parish is providing by way of education in child protection - so that together we can build a society, and above all a church, that is safe for children. The response our church is now making to this issue will fail to some degree unless it includes all of us. In Ireland this issue is complicated by the fact that we have two different legal systems on the island. For the 26 counties of the Irish Republic the church booklet 'Our Children, Our Church' is required reading. Just now (the spring of 2006) we are awaiting detailed instructions on the rules to be applied in Northern Ireland, where legal differences prevent 'Our Children, Our Church' from being the definitive guide. However, most of what's there will remain useful and is worth reading. These key facts will help us all to cope: An abused child is likely to be unhappy, possibly self-harming, and often 'difficult'. If such a child should seek to confide in you, be prepared to listen confidentially. However, Do not 'lead' the child by suggesting that sexual abuse is the cause of that unhappiness. Allow the child to say what she/he wants to say in his/her own language. Do not express shock, horror or disgust at what you are told. Simply show attention and sympathy, and confidence that the matter can be dealt with. Child sexual abuse is the abuse of a position of power by using a child (someone under 18) for sexual self-gratification. Notice here 'an abuse of power'. Remember this always, especially if you have difficulty coping mentally with the sexual nature of the abuse. An abuse of power is always involved, and it is that especially which causes harm to the child. The child has become merely an object for someone's self-gratification - an indignity that deeply hurts the child in his/her deepest self and in his/her ability to trust adults. Child sexual abuse is a serious crime everywhere on the island of Ireland, as well as a most serious moral evil. This means that all of us have a most solemn duty to report it to child protection professionals. The child is never in any way guilty of the abuse. This is essential to allow instant reassurance of the child, and to begin to remove any burden of guilt that the abuser may have placed upon the victim. The problem can be solved and dealt with. Expert help is available to end the situation, if it is still ongoing - or to deal with past abuse. Do not set out to investigate the matter further. That is a matter for the civil authorities. The detailed investigation of instances of child sexual abuse is a matter for trained professionals only. From this point on you need knowledge of whom to contact in your own environment to take the matter further. Find out now who that is, especially in your own parish. Dealing effectively with child sexual abuse is a competence that we now must all learn to some degree. None of us can duck or dodge that responsibility, especially if we have any kind of role in caring for children.
The prize is a society that is safe, or at
least safer, for children. It is a prize that must be won. |
VOTF To provide a prayerful voice, attentive to the Spirit, through which the Faithful can actively participate in the governance and guidance of the Catholic Church. Our Goals 1. To support survivors of clergy sexual abuse. 2. To support priests of integrity 3.To shape structural change within the Catholic Church.
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